The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize