i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
