Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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