Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
