is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think people are normalizing furries
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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