Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
