didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
