I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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