My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
