I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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