Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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