i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
