2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So drunk its hurt
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize