How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize
