I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize