capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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