Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
