haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
