she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
