Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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