My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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