I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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