What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
