Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
