For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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