i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
