he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sorry about my life...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
