my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
