I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we have pet lesbian snakes
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she looked like the before picture.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
