She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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