I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
