Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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