Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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