the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
