My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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