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Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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