she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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