): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
