I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
