Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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