I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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