too bad you live with your parents still
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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