She said her name was "party"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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