I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
