His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My dick has a subreddit
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
