mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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