Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
