dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
