Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize