its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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