my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
