And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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