do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize