I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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