He uses pillows to masturbate.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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