I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
