we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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