Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
