got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
