I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
