even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We need to rekindle our bromance
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
